Short jokes
I asked my dad what his previous job was. He said: "I was a post until I met your mother."
These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.
That's wheely (really) sad.
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
Why did the stairs move?
Because it was up to something!
Yo forehead is so big, Albert Einstein couldn’t figure out the measurement of it!
What do you call grass that grows in space?
Astro-turf.
Drawned.
- Why is that flight waiting at 30,000 feet height?
- One tire became flat. They are changing it in the middle of the journey.
Allahu Akbar.
What is Beethoven's favorite vegetable?
Beets.
My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.
Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?
12 year old me: Yeah!
Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?
Me: What?
How do cows say "oof?"
They say, "MOOf."
At work: Hey guys, I'm gonna Arnold clock out now.
Wanna know what's funny? Scott's low joke standards.
Q: Where does a one-legged waitress work?
A: IHOP.
Who are you?
Oh, I'm an orphan!
Oh... bye! :/
Steven Hawking lost the Wi-Fi connection on March 14, 2018.