Short jokes
I raped your mom. I flipped her upside down and called the position "wow."
Guess what?
Good guess.
A pornstar committed suicide; her coworkers must be taking it hard.
Why couldn’t the midget talk?
Because someone stepped on him.
Boy: Mom, why are you drinking this disgusting red soup? I wanted salad.
Mom: Quiet, son. We only get this once a month.
See you later, crocodile.
In a while, pedophile.
What's the best part about having sex with twenty-seven year olds?
There's twenty of them!
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"
Why are mountains very cold?
Because they are very cold.
What's black, anorexic, dumb, and will never get a girlfriend?
Me.
What happened when Obama ran for president?
The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.
Why did my dad leave me? Because I was a disappointment.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Your forehead is so big you can jump without getting hurt.
"Cancer isn't real. It's probably special effects."
What is a definition of tight?
A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."
I impaled my son with a pitchfork...
He looks very sharp.
Once, there was a Minecraft child molester on the Minecraft Facebook. He asks a kid his age. The kid blocks him.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.