Short jokes

Short jokes

Dad

My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."

Putin

Did you hear Biden went to the ER?

He's having a little trouble with his Putin.

Life

What's the most annoying thing in the world?

When you're told you're still qualified to live.

Batman

What do Batman and a Black man have in common?

Answer: They can't go anywhere without Robin.

Wife

My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.

Eagle

The 🦅 asked the female eagle, "What did you eat?"

"I ate New York hot dogs."

Rape

There are women complaining about being r@ped.

JUST DON'T GO NEAR DARK ALLEYS WITH A SPORTS BRA ON. 😁

Dracula

Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?

Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.

Question

Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"

James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"

Suicide

My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.

Country

Germany does a backflip. America: What is happening?

France: Want a baguette?

USSR: Help!

Dad

Your dad went on America's Got Talent for "smoothest way to leave their child."

Mama

Yo mama so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest, they said she wasn’t allowed because no professionals were allowed.