Short jokes
What did the hecadrocophodecadus say to the hopetihopetifuckendecker?
"It didn't happen, but it should have."
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."
Chicken
Your mom is so fat, they asked if she was a sumo wrestler.
Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.
Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.
Teacher: Why?
Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.
What does a Russian do for entertainment?
A nuclear world fair.
Why did the chicken go to the restaurant?
To eat chicken!
What was Stephen Hawking's least favorite invention? The walkie-talkie.
Roses are red, I am very cool, You, on the other hand, Need to drown yourself in a pool.
The Queen: "I've had a few medical problems this year. I'm so old that my pussy is haunted!"
What did the walrus say when they lost the remote?
"Walrus the remote!"
What do you call cancers? Loyal, protective, and caring.
What’s an orphan’s favorite holidays? Mothers’ and Father’s Day.
Helen Keller can use Hodled's words because they are so bad.
Person 1: Wasn’t Stephen Hawking on X Factor?
Person 2: No, why would he be on X Factor?
Person 1: For dancing.
What did the mouse say after its bath?
"I feel squeaky clean!"
Hey there, wanna buy some chromosomes?
You know how they said weight people can't jump? Check out the 9/11 videos.
TJ GWEN just shut the hell up.
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