Short jokes
What's the name for a short legged tramp?
A low-down bum.
Did you hear about the mad who got his whole left side cut off? He's all right now.
I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
I don't know?!?
Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Why did the skeleton go to the movies by himself?
He had no body to go with.
One apple a day keeps the doctor away; not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.
I heard Microsoft got charged, why?
They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking.
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
Why did he go to hell? Because he couldn't use the stairs to Heaven.
What is more time-consuming than children?
Waiting for your wife to go into labor!
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowgirl?
Snowballs.
Why did the guy get the hose?
Because the girl was smoking hot.
Stupid joke about Stephen Hawking that wasn't funny the first fucking time.
Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.
What do you call my IP? 74.125.224.72 hahahahahahahahaha
If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?
I used to work at a candlestick factory, but only on the wickends! It was illuminating!
Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?
'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.