Your nose is so big that Apple had to make a custom iPhone that unlocks using Nose ID.
Short Jokes
Go to community, I'm bored.
Dog.
What's the single worst terrestrial species? Humans, obviously.
Why does Batman only wear black?
Because he's emo!
Joe Mama is so fat that when she sat on an iPhone, it turned into an iPod.
That's wheely (really) sad.
Jamal had 75 candy bars. He ate 65. What does he have now?
Diabetes.
I breathe in African food.
Stop with the orphan jokes. We're running out of orphans to joke about.
What is mad cow disease?
There's gonna be 8 planets right after I destroy Uranus.
So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.
That’s the punch line.
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
What's the difference between Jesus and Christmas tree lights?
They can both flash.
Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?
A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.
There are multiple. That’s the joke.
How is sports like regular life for orphans?
They don't get picked for either.
My friend: "Hey, I see a dwarf!"
Me: "Where?"
Friend: "In front of me."
When the card declines on child insurance.