Short jokes
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.
I heard Microsoft got charged, why?
They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking.
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Why did he go to hell? Because he couldn't use the stairs to Heaven.
What is more time-consuming than children?
Waiting for your wife to go into labor!
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowgirl?
Snowballs.
What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?
A school bus filled with children.
What does your mum have in common with your dad?
They are both men.
What is the difference between a human being in the car?
All these females swear they loyal... but you can’t put loyalty on a hoe.
A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?
Yu.
Zozo laughed at his wife for her husband being a hobo.
I have a friend named Mole.
She plays a game called "sandbox" to dig up dirt...
What is your summer name? Hot.
The butt quack one.
What happens when a sink on the Titanic overflows?
It sinks it.
Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?
Son goat: No, what?
Dad goat: Goat meat.
Son goat: *Gasps*
Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.
There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?
There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?