Short jokes
Do you know your E?
You're E tarded.
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.
What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird!
It's not rape if you say "April Fools!"
85% of us are good at school, while the other 15% is good at suicide.
(Teach me your ways, 15%.)
I got fired from the library in the first 30 minutes because I "womens rights" in the sci-fi fiction section.
My girlfriend's a two, but she's turning three tomorrow.
I pushed a handicapped orphan out of his wheelchair. Who is he gonna tell, his parents?
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
What's the difference between depression and a girl?
XXXTentacion can't seem to beat depression.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is...
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of WiFi.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
What was David Bowie’s last hit?
Probably heroin.
Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?
Because he lost his balance!
How do you get 100 Pikachus on a bus?
- Pokémon
They have blackboards and whiteboards, but what happened to Mexicanboards?
Batman vs Superman?
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.