Short jokes
Why did Sally drown in the pool?
She had no arms, remember.
What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?
Fruit punch.
Dang, it got ketchup on my sleeve. What do I do?
Spread the love!
Daddy bear said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!"
Mummy bear said, "It was probably your whore, Linda!"
Where do you go if you lost a pencil?
Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.
Why was Stephen Hawking late to the NASA meeting?
He couldn't get up the kerb.
Lettuce ketchup.
NONCE
Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?
Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?
A: Tumor.
How do people in Alabama get circumcised? You knee your sister's jaw...
What do you call a crying dick?
I call it a crying dick.
What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?
One's a fucking tree.
Why do nuns go around in pairs?
So one nun makes sure the other nun doesn't get none!
What was Pepe's best friend? Ballsack.
Why did the orange start blushing?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why did lil Timmy drop his lollies?
He was hit by a train.
What do sperm say while just in?
"We need to go deeper."
Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?
What did the Army soldier say after he got his legs fixed?
Afgan-I-Stand.