Short jokes
What did the Army soldier say after he got his legs fixed?
Afgan-I-Stand.
Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?
He got a pat on the head.
They have blackboards and whiteboards, but what happened to Mexicanboards?
What's the difference between depression and a girl?
XXXTentacion can't seem to beat depression.
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
So many of these jokes are unoriginal, and you guys need to step up your game.
Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?
Because he lost his balance!
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is...
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of WiFi.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
What was David Bowie’s last hit?
Probably heroin.
Bread?
Why did Sally drown in the pool?
She had no arms, remember.
Dang, it got ketchup on my sleeve. What do I do?
Spread the love!
Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?
Well, I just can't seem to put it down.
What job lets you kill the most people?
An abortion doctor.
Daddy bear said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!"
Mummy bear said, "It was probably your whore, Linda!"
Where do you go if you lost a pencil?
Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.
Dad, there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig, and then I made pulled pork out of him.
Son, he is dinner.