Short jokes

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

You are short.

You're so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips!

You’re so short, you could sweep under your bed while standing.

You’re so short, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.

Mike Oxlong.

One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.

----> [] get in the door.

I told Hellen Keller it was a hair dryer, little did she know it was a Glock.

God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!

Squirrel: I got a joke.

Dog: What the hell is it?

Squirrel: I clicked my nuts and clicked my poop.

Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt?

Now he's a bronze fish.

The coach yelled at me when I stole home. I ran home with the base and asked him where to put it.

Friend: What goes up but not down?

You: Your age.

What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters?

Anna 1 Anna 2.

Do you love water?

Then you love 75% of me.

"Out of the way, I need to Caterpie."

Shrek yells at Donkey. Fiona yells, "Stop yelling at the ass!"

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Natyourcheese.

Natyourcheese who?

Natyourcheese, I wasn't gonna say bless you!

I need to go to the tailor, or so it seams.