Short jokes
I impaled my son with a pitchfork...
He looks very sharp.
Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?
Answer: Beethoven's last movement.
Down syndrome and brownies.
What is a definition of tight?
A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?
Both of their legs don't work.
Once, there was a Minecraft child molester on the Minecraft Facebook. He asks a kid his age. The kid blocks him.
Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?
Because he is Stephen HAWKings.
"Cancer isn't real. It's probably special effects."
Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, brown, and yellow?
So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.
Hi, I am Michael Jackson, pronouns are HEE/HEE!
Why are Muslims terrible at football?
Because every time they have a corner, they build a shop.
Rape, 9/11, abortion, orphan, murder, dead, kill, drugs.
Am I funny now? Because this is what you brainlets find funny.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? You can't stand up.
Watching porn.
Watching porn blow my dick like a basset horn.
Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!
Me: I’m going to get burrito 🌯
Friend: You can have my burrito baby.
Gay.
Friend: *begins to moan*
Me: Finna hang up.
Puns, that's how I roll.
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."
What does the cannibal say when he jumps into the pool?
CANNONBALL! P.S. I made this myself.