Short jokes
What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?
One's a fucking tree.
Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?
A: Tumor.
What do sperm say while just in?
"We need to go deeper."
I wish my dog was depressed so she can cut her own nails.
What's the difference between a cheater and your mom?
They both cheated!
NONCE
Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?
He's in a wheelchair.
What was Pepe's best friend? Ballsack.
What did the bank say to the person?
Bank you very much.
Why did the orange start blushing?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
What did the Army soldier say after he got his legs fixed?
Afgan-I-Stand.
Why did lil Timmy drop his lollies?
He was hit by a train.
Why did Sally drown in the pool?
She had no arms, remember.
What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?
Fruit punch.
Dang, it got ketchup on my sleeve. What do I do?
Spread the love!
Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?
Well, I just can't seem to put it down.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer (no idea).
What job lets you kill the most people?
An abortion doctor.
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.