Short jokes

Short jokes

Surgery

Patient: I am sorry, it is my first surgery.

Doctor: Don't worry, mine too.🫡👍

Butt

I think my butt looks flat, but my boyfriend seems to think the opposite. I told him to be deadass with me.

Hotline

When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.

Negotiation

How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?

QUEUE THE MUSIC

BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT

Euthanasia

In Jr. high, we all had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood and wrote a report on how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.

Misunderstanding

My AI assistant told me it wanted to go deeper...

...into the algorithm. I misunderstood. Now I’m banned from the lab.

Boob

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”

Vagina

A vagina is like the weather. Once it’s wet, it’s time to go inside.

Goo

Priest

Roses are red, violets are blue. Don't touch the beds, they are sticky with white goo.

Kurt Cobain

Kurt Cobain

Kurt Cobain's last job was a blow job. He blew his head clean off.

Roll

Did anyone around here lose a roll of twenty-dollar bills wrapped with a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band.

Bartender

Why can’t Homer Simpson bring his family into Moe’s Tavern?

Because there’s a bartender in there.

Polish

There’s a noticeable difference between using polish to remove grease and using Polish to remove Greece.

Temper

Kurt Cobain

What was Kurt Cobain's biggest flaw?

He had a short temper and lost his head over everything.