Short jokes
Why can't I be gay? I have nobody to call "daddy."
My peepee was big, now it's small.
Why does Apple logo depict 1 byte in the 21st century?
"I want to kill my family."
-realizes-
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
What do you call a phone that talks?
A reader in a leader.
When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
What is Godzilla’s least favorite ball?
A King Kong ball.
What did the orphan say to the adopter?
Nothing, he just stared.
What do you call someone with a big butt?
The Thightanic!
What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?
Boston cream pie.
What plate do you need to eat in a car? A license plate!
My dad seen RuPaul's Drag Race?
Asked when will they do up the cars!
You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.
The thing my mom birthed.
How many thots have I bullied?
Three. The rest are dead.
You are the gayest.
I love Steven Hawking’s stand-up comedy!
God, you're more toxic than white phosphorus.