What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?
Your mum.
Short Jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?
Computers don’t really have a specific religion.
Anyone else think High School Musical would have been a better film with a school shooter?
What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.
What do you call lesbians having sex?
My cheating dyke ex-wife!
What happens when Stephen Hawking wakes up from his sleep?
"Log in."
"How do celebrities stay cool?"
"They have many fans!"
I always say I'm single, which annoys my wife.
My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.
What did Stephen Hawking say when trying to talk to a reporter? Beep boop beep beep boop.
What are the sinful letters of the alphabet?
A, B, C you in hell.
I was naughty at school and my teacher said she's going to tell my dad. I was like, "Who's that?"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What does a Chinese do when you throw an apple at him? Ka-ching!
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they never get a full house.
Why did the cats go in the litterbox?? To take a poop!
These jokes suck. Lmfao y'all gotta be more creative!
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
What do emos and a bird nest have in common?
They both hang from a tree.
Why don't orphans play GTA?
Because they're sad they don't get wanted!