Short jokes
Q: What's green and yellow and eats balls?
A: Gonorrhea.
"How would you describe a really bad skeleton?"
"Bad to the bone!" (Or "Rotten to the bone" if you want.)
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Like petals in the wind, My heart dances for you.
When baseball players want to get together, what will they do?
Touch base.
One reason I like to tell riddles is because they help with critical thinking skills.
TAOST, you didn't submit it, you fuck!
Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.
Drake has too much meat. Donate to the people in need.
Do you know when an African doesn't feel hungry?
When he is dead.
I am Asian.
I am so Asian my pronouns are: heeEEE/Ya.
Pulled pork? Yeah, I cranked my hog today, too.
Even though I look completely white, I am apparently 70% black!
Until I realized that it was a mouth swab test.
What activity do nuns and whores have in common?
Answer: Genuflection.
I turned gay because my wife is too poor.
Why were the Twin Towers angry on 9/11?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got instead was plane.
You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!
What did the Indians say to the Arabs? "We are going to make 10/12!"
The adoption center threw a party. Why? 'Cause the parents weren't home.
What does a furry call a sexy furry?
A foxy lady!