Short jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead.
I’m such a fool.
Why did I fall for you?
Siri is so ugly that she needs to go in the dumpster. She's so ugly that she needs to go in the toilet.
"Know, know how there."
"Lesh, lesh how can you at lesh remember my name?"
Me after Taco Bell: Go to: [link to image of broken toilet]
What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You stop milking a cow after 15 years.
Why did the Down syndrome person cross the road? Because there was a zebra crossing!
What do you call a Censor with Autism?
A Censorspaz.
Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.
Abortion is not murder, it's just canceling your preorder.
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
Q: Why did the Queer get fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
What is a redneck's favorite sock?
A red sock.
Do you think you can solve a riddle about my penis because I don't think you can...
It's too hard.
I got a heart pain then I went to [the] hospital. When the doctor says I am dead, but I run then I jump. I am not dead!
Son: Mom, I did the test and I have cancer!
Mom: YOU HAVE CANCER?!
Son: Mom, as my zodiac symbol...
Mom:....
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
All Asians look the same.
Why did Arnold throw his clock out of the window?
It reminded him of Richard Clocks, a man convicted for knife raping his wife.
Lachlan