Short jokes
I wish the grass in my backyard was emo.
So it can cut itself.
Our hairline goes way back before dinosaurs lived.
It's ya boy Dixbfloppin!
I was gonna stop for the cops, but I ran because I was high (the song don't copyright me plz).
Why did the skeleton die from laughter?
'Cause they broke all his "funny bones!"
Why was Elon Musk unable to land a job as a television host at NBC?
His own car cannot catch up with Jay Leno's Corvette!
When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!
What happens to the crow in the earthquake?
It turned into a milkshake. 🤔😂
I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.
My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.
"Goodness, that's what Post Malone sounds like?"
"Give me some pre-Malone hip hop any day!"
"5 dollars if a fat guy can find his penis."
"I'm going to sue Disney. Not enough racism!" - Grizzy
Your mum is a baby, huh? Not a little baby!
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
Roddy Rick Dalby
Two lepers meet on the street.
First says "How are you doing?"
Second says "Mustn't crumble!"
Why are bees' hair sticky?
Because they use honeycombs!
If a vegan and a vegan have a fight, is it still considered beef?