Short jokes
Did you know there's a brand of coffee specifically for pedophiles?
It's called the Ep-bean.
Why do lesbians go to Sports Authority?
Because they don't like Dick's!
They didn't burn witches back in the day, they burned bitches.
How does a pimp answer when asked why he chose his occupation?
Answer: He wanted a stable source of income.
Why did the deer go to the dentist?
It had buck teeth.
What is a Christian's favorite social networking site?
Faithbook!
What is 6-inch long, in every men's pants or hands, and girls want?
- A smartphone, freak.
How do terrorists feed their babies?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
Why was Saudi Arabia sad during 9/11?
Because there were no more planes.
I can’t stand jokes about Germans.
They’re the wurst.
Yo bro, look at this twig I found on the floor. Wait...
It is September. What's the difference between a stage four colon cancer patient and Santa Claus? Santa is coming for Christmas!
Siri is so ugly that she needs to go in the dumpster. She's so ugly that she needs to go in the toilet.
What do you call a guy with no body and nose?
No body nose
How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)
Kobe: "Don't crash!"
Helicopter: *Crashes*
What did Kobe say to the helicopter?
"Don't crash!"
Explain Bear, girl, you're tripping.
Why can’t orphans go to jail? Because they aren’t wanted.
Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"