Short jokes
For my girlfriend and friends to chat :)
My brother tried to hit this guy with a plane and but hit the Twin Towers.
What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?
A baby with a javelin in its head!
Anyone wanna talk? I'm bored.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your presence, my love, Every moment feels new.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your laughter's melody, Makes my world anew.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your eyes' reflection, My dreams come true.
When baseball players want to get together, what will they do?
Touch base.
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I watched a movie with a lot of ketchup on the ground.
I don't know why my friends look disgusted.
I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.
I thought a few hits would cheer him up!
Me: Which WiFi are we on?
Coworker: Should be floor 89.
Me: What about flight 104?
Coworker: Oh crap!
"Room, you on."
NEWS: A man kidnapped a 13-year-old girl.
MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receding hairline.
My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.
I hung something else instead.
Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.
What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?
They both have red circles on their bodies.
When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?
A: They couldn’t go straight.
What do you call the fighters with an extra chromosome?
Downy unstopables.