Short jokes
Your eyebrows run away like your dad.
Your eyebrows turned into little butterflies and flew away!
Even Captain Cook couldn't discover your forehead.
If I measured your forehead, it would be 100,000,000,000,000,000 miles long.
I had to take the underground just to get from your forehead to your hairline, they're so far apart!!!
Health and safety tips: Looking at your hairline is hazardous. For your best interest, please look away.
This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!
What is the difference between you and a calendar?
A calendar has dates.
What does Mammot like on a woman’s body?
Bum bum bummmm buuummmmm bummm.
Why can't people eat pizza? Because they will be unavailable.
The death of JFK must have splattered on the news.
Stephen Hawking said he wants other physicists to follow in his footsteps.
Why did Kenny die?
Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?
Why is Jonnyy baiiiiii sad? Because he no shower pero.
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.
What did the parent say to M.J.?
"Get off my kid!"
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
Idaho... Alaska!
Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.