Short jokes
In England, for every church, there are two pubs.
In Poland, for every pub, there are two churches.
Why was 10 afraid?
Because he was in the middle of 9 and 11.
What's the difference between my father and acne?
Acne waited for me to be a teenager before coming on my face.
“Wanna smoke, kids?” is an offer to do drugs.
“Wanna smoke kids?” is an offer to kill.
Why was 10 so scared?
He was in the middle of 9/11.
My life. BAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHHA
What kind of punch takes out 20 children and 8 adults? A Sandy Hook.
Why do you need an AR-15?
So my son can use it if he's being bullied at school.
Why is an apple not called a "red", but an orange is called an "orange"?
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
What's 2ft long, blue, and stiff and keeps a woman up all night?
Cot death.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Like petals in the wind, My heart dances for you.
One reason I like to tell riddles is because they help with critical thinking skills.
Your forehead’s so big it got sponsored by GAP.
I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.
14 girls asked me to go out today!
I was in the ladies' toilets...
Your hairline's so far back, even Rosa Parks refused to sit in the back; it went all the way there itself.
Your forehead's so big, NASA uses it to test satellite signals.
On September 11, Gemini ordered three pepperoni pizzas.
One came alone, one was late, and the third went the wrong way.
Yo Mama is so fat that Nationwide took nine years to get on her side.