Short jokes
This joke is so corny I could eat it off the cob.
How did Teddy Roosevelt swing all the ladies?
He spoke softly and carried a big stick.
Your hairline is so far back, your barber didn't know where to start.
My mom picked my major.
My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
First bite: Oh my God!
Second bite: Oh my, God!
If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
What is a dog's favorite snack?
RUFFles.
Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?
They’re jealous that autism can speak.
(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).
Why do ableist people hate autistics?
They're scared they'll never be special enough.
What do you call a German that can not see?
A Not-see.
Why do girls only stay in odd groups of friends?
Because they literally can't even.
How do you get a smoking hot body as a senior?
Cremation.
My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.
- What do you call a dog that can do magic?
- A labracadabrador.
Why was the rapper always cold?
Because he kept spitting ice!
Why did the rapper become a MATH TEACHER?
Because he was good with bars and beats.