Short jokes
"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."
"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."
787 bowing.
What can't a Desert Eagle and Barrett do for stealth missions?
They can't be way too loud.
What do a tank and a warship have in common?
They're overweight.
Why did a school shooter get banned from a game server?
He was caught aimbotting.
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
Friends, gather here.
Samantha, Josephine, Stevie, Jess, Alice, and Alex.
Why do orphans go on holiday?
To see what family is like.
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"
I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? I butter not tell you.
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
Do you like my a-corn-y jokes?
My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.