Short jokes
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
Do you like my a-corn-y jokes?
Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?
Funni.
You are like my girlfriend: imaginary and non-existent.
What do Rubik's cubes and melons have in common?
They have a history of separating colors.
When is a cold not a cold?
Why is Bill the bad guy?
Monica wanted to suck dick.
Me: Are you an alien?
Friend: No.
Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
Why do orphans like Spider-Man?
'Cause they really enjoy Far From Home and No Way Home. Damn, was he mad about Spider-Man Homecoming!
Morbius is definitely one of the movies ever made. One of the movies of all time.
You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.
A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.