Short jokes
Yo mama so ugly that she's the reason monsters hide under the beds.
How can you never find a hippo hiding behind a weed?
Because they're so good at it.
Yo mama so poor, when I ring the doorbell, she says, "DING!"
Yo mama is so ugly that her DoorDash driver took her order away.
Yo mama is so ugly that Bumble accused her of catfishing.
What is the difference between Reform and Restore UK?
The Name.
Are you a Muslim, because you're the bomb?
If African immigrants are supposed to stay in their country, why can't their resources do the same?
Kobe never died, he just faded away.
What do George Floyd and Jordan Neely have in common?
Both can't breathe.
"Where did you learn to do bookkeeping?"
"Yale."
"And what was your name again?"
"Yackson."
Someone lunged at me, armed with an unregistered nurse. I hit the floor.
A termite walks into the bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.
He told me to stop going to those places.
I had an operation on my knee, but it was a joint effort.
What do you get from a co-worker with epilepsy for being accused of harassment? A "seize" and desist letter.
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four—one to hold the bulb and three to try to remember the combination.
What do Michael Vick and John Wick have in common?
Got into deep shit when it came to dogs.
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They wait for it to turn itself in.
What song is the most annoying for a Serb?
Sweet Home Alabama (because it sounds like Sweet Home Albania)!