Short jokes
For some reason, people make fun of my name because it rhymes with something that starts with an F.
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
The last names after marriage!
What do you call a legless cow?
Handicapped and stupid and monke and food.
You only put your user name under Daddyboy_01 because your dad left you, hahahah!
Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.
Your mama's so fat, when she grew an inch, she pushed the Earth down.
What did the janitor think when he was mopping the 101st floor?
The 102nd.
Why don't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you get a new bed, you have more bedroom, but less bedroom.
Why does an orphan like The Beatles? Because it's family friendly.
Do you want to hear a cold joke?
Can't. It warmed up.
Everyone: "Look, it's Superman!"
Me: "No, it's an emo."
Everyone: "Oh."
If you have a pair and it runs around the street, what do you call it? A running pair.
My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.
She said help, so I kicked her.
"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."
Your mum eats cabbage.
What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
Why does the orphan can’t write a single word or sentence?
Because the orphan is dumber.
What’s red and goes 90 miles an hour?