Short jokes
Joke Tide.
Once, asked if I played Scrabble, being dyslexic, I asked if it was the standard version or the deluxe dyslexic version.
When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?
When it fails to turn up.
A man walks into a bar and orders a cardigan and soke.
Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.
Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."
October 1, 2017 is when the Mandalay Bay became the Mandalay spray. Thank Steve for that.
Osama Bin Laden thrown in ocean!
People who helped with the Twin Towers destruction: ...
I traveled through time to get my dad back.
I failed because I was 1e21 years off.
I was doing some karate the other day at the studio.
They kicked me out because I was doing “kungi fui.”
My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.
Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.
Some guy: making a sandwich.
Me: *rages* to put the ham in!
I am Asian.
I am so Asian my pronouns are: heeEEE/Ya.
Pulled pork? Yeah, I cranked my hog today, too.
What activity do nuns and whores have in common?
Answer: Genuflection.
I turned gay because my wife is too poor.
Why were the Twin Towers angry on 9/11?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got instead was plane.
What do you say when you hear someone tripping over at night?
Goddammit, Jamal!
What do you call crabs that do not share their food?
They are shellfish! (ノ≧∀≦)ノ
The median salary of a clown is $36,763. And yet, here you are, doing it for free.