Short jokes
When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.
Your mom is so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!
What do you call Scooby Doo with a blunt in his mouth? Scooby Dooby.
What do you call a movie about an orphan?
The Bat Man.
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?
He was not worth keeping.
Why did the judge dismiss court when the orphan walked in?
Even a gay prison wouldn't want him.
What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"
Ahhhhh shit! IT’S HUNTING SEASON y’all!
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!
Me: My therapist says I need those to live.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
I'm jealous of the people who never met you.
Bro, my forehead is so big whenever I need to find something on it, I need the exact coordinates.
So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."
Why did they put the Petronas towers? Eh, you do you.
Have you met Bofa?
Bofa deez blind kids!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home base.
What do you call a lion as a baby?
Cocota
Mine never stops.