Short jokes
After you read this post, you will forget you were gay.
Wanna hear a joke?
Look in the mirror; I'm sure you'll find one there :')
Teacher: Jeff, why did you throw a paper plane at the twins?
Jeff: You wouldn't get it, miss.
Jake: Can I go outside?
Mom: Did you clean your room?
Jake: No.
Mom: Then f*ck no.
Jake: Alright, bet.
(Brother named No)
What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?
Hairy Potter.
The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"
I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.
Joe Mama so fat when she stepped on the sidewalk, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
*America shoots down balloon*
China: "You killed an innocent man!!"
USA: "What?!"
China: "Yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler."
I am starting a business where I help people count. It is called making the little things count.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do when done with his black dates?
He dumped them.
What attracted Jeffrey Dahmer to abortion clinics?
- He smelled veal.
Why are farts a nice break for emos?
They get to cut cheese.
Why did the emo trade his knife for a chainsaw?
- To win
Stephen Hawking's best subjects were Physics and Maths. His worst was P.E.
Yo mama is so dumb, she plays Pokémon and doesn’t catch any.
"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race
But your mom's the best, the super M.I.L.F.
Why is the ocean so salty? Probably because the land doesn't wave back.