Short jokes

Short jokes

Mother

Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.

Makeup

Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.

Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!

Cry

Ryan, I laid out more jokes than you have crying about me!

Emo

Me people call me emo.

Older cousin: Why?

Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.

Vaccine

Yesterday a woman stabbed me, so I stabbed her back. Then I realized she was the vaccine woman.

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road to Popeyes Chicken?

It wanted to pop some chicken eyes...

Mom

Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"

Language

I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"

Eye

What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?

They both have eyes.