Short jokes

Short jokes

Fat

You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!

Dress

Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?

Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!

Forehead

Yo, forehead reflects projectiles just like the shield in Strike Force Heroes.

Height

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

Difference

What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?

One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.

Coast

Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?

Because there is a red Sun in the sky.

Emo

I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.

Mom

Your mom is so fat, she looks like she ate the marshmallow from Ghostbusters.

Mama

"Yo mama so fat when she got buried it took them all the trees on Earth for her coffin."

Man

Confucius say: "Gay man who take far, far away trip, hates to leave friends behind."

Bath

I bet when you take a bath, they give you the whole pool. No, better yet, the ocean!