Short jokes
What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?
Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.
What do you call an Asian, a blind man, and a very bad driver?
I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.
What do you call a child with no family?
Names.
Your hairline is so curved that McDonald's hired you to be their "M."
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.
You must work at McDonald's because you have a McDouble chin.
What is a boxer's favorite part of a joke? The punchline.
Why don't molestation victims speak up about their trauma? Because it's a touchy topic.
Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.
Why do cops never put orphans in jail?
Because they aren't wanted.
What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center?
They both fall in September.
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Meow meow, I'm a cow and I like cum cum cum.
Why [doesn't] Hollywood make a good movie about holocausts?
Because it's so hard to skin Jewish characters.
Gnome.
A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:
"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."
Why do people never kick their own balls?
Because they might lose one!
Why do Mexicans wear pointed boots?
So they can climb a fence easier.
"Remember, switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.