Short jokes
It's so cold, I mist bring my jacket.
Is anyone else on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop?
You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both want Anthony's neck.
What do you call two emos in a chemistry lab?
My Chemical Romance.
Why did the teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't get even.
Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.
If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.
Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.
What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"
If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.
If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.
Have you ever walked past Stephen Hawking's house?
No, well neither has he.
Make America Great Britain again!
Why can’t monkeys play in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
According to scientists, there has been a discovery of water on Mars.
Mars-1
Africa-0
Why haven't they put Stephen Hawking in charge yet?
I don't trust trees...they look shady.
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.
Stephen Hawking's best subjects were Physics and Maths. His worst was P.E.