Short jokes
I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
Your hairline is so expired, it’s more expired than your milk!
The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.
You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!
Your hairline is so curved that McDonald's hired you to be their "M."
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is.
Wanna see my pp again?
Your mum (mom) so fat, she wore a yellow T-shirt, they said "Taxi!"
Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?
Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!
Your hairline goes further back, even further back than the Precambrian Time.
I C U P works on 88% of people.
Do they call it rapeseed oil because it is lube?
What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
Abortion isn't murder.
It's backspacing a typo.
What did one shark say to the other while eating a clownfish?
Who needs parents to be great?
Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!
Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.
I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
I gave Helen Keller an Oculus and AirPods for her 12th birthday, and she hated them and me.