Short jokes
Stephen could not click the "I'm not a robot" button, so I guess he is fucked.
A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"
I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."
Me, holding a baby: "Oh my God, it's so cute!"
Also me: "Throw it."
What makes a software developer feel rich?
Their cache.
Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?
Because there was no chemistry...
I'm dead inside.
What is the best type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
My diet:
Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...
Don't scare me! I poop easily!
Corn flake.
Rice Middle School
"Bippity Bobbity Boo, Boo Radley is coming for you!"
Q: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A: Because they're Santa's Starbucks!
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Fix the door, it's broken!
My junk was in the book of world records until I got kicked out of the library.
What happens when you eat salmon with Nutella?
You get salmonella.
Q: Why can't skeletons go to the dance?
A: He doesn't have the guts for it.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
Are you a nation leader or an email deleter?
Two Timetravers walk into a bar...
...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."