Short jokes
Why do orphans like Monopoly?
To cry about the money they can’t earn in real life.
The fish do nothing. That is definitely a bad joke.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
I hope death is a woman. That way, she'll never come for me.
Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"
Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.
Why do orphans watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?
Answer: Oogie Boogie is ugly, so they want to be ugly.
I thought I had the best K/D ratio in my fighter jet on Battlefield, then I heard about Mohammed Atta.
When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:
What did the horses say to the donkeys?
"Jackasses, please like!"
I got jealous when my phone died.
Never let an orphan watch Fast and the Furious.
All they will talk about is how great their family is.
What do you call sex with a hoover?
Clean sex.
What do you call a fat spеaky in a wheelchair spеaky chair?
I was hit by a car. Later, my ex lost her bus job.
What is Donald Trump's hairstyle called?
A comb-over.
Me running out of the hospital after telling COVID patients to stay "positive."
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.
No one goes in there without my permission!
What's the difference between you and me?
I have a plan for this new year.
So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.