Short jokes
Me, (AHAHAHA IM A JOKE AHAH Criii) Anyone wanna date? Lol.
Oh, sweetheart, you brighten me.
Hi Jake!
Hi Manuel.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cold.
Cold who?
"It is cold out here!"
Hey, who thinks Gwen is a dummy, so is Jaden and Kenya!
"Hey Kenya, can we talk please!"
Why do orphans love Christmas?
Because they build a home.
What do you call an overly clingy child?
A tumor.
Friend 1: How come when you say "apart" your lips move apart, but when you say "together" they move apart?
Me: Maybe your lips want a divorce.
What can't a sniper say to his wife?
"I missed you."
My grandpa was in 9/11. He was the best pilot.
Take a water bottle, shake it, you got piss.
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
2, 4, 6, 8, you're staying up too late.
2, 4, 6, 8, all I do is master bait.
61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69... mouthwash.
It looks like a runner bean, only smaller.
From the makers of Mangeone...
That's the last time we park the TARDIS outside the portaloos at Glastonbury!
Dawn rises on the Serengeti, and she has no idea as to how she got there.
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.