Short jokes
What kind of pizza can't an orphan order?
Familiar pizza.
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Johnny.
Johnny who?
Johnny want yo' mommy.
What is an emo's favorite song?
"Suicidal."
You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.
What is an orphan's least liked meal? Family dinner.
What does Justin Bieber and a rabbit have in common?
They're both adorably cute and everyone loves them except for Justin Bieber.
Why shouldn't you make an orphan cry?
Because they won't have a parent to cry to.
I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.
My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.
What a magic trick, it's so bad!
Too bad, chick.
Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.
Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?
I don't get progressive leftists these days. They claim to be supporting BLM, but they aren't pro-life.
Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.
Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.
"Butter, butter, and butter, please, please bring me butter."
I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.
They brought it over but spilled it on me.
I said that was a udder failure!
Yesnt.
"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.
Did you hear about the elephant with no nose?! Me neither.
Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.