Short jokes
Have you ever had a bad sausage? It's the wurst.
Once I read a book about glue.
I couldn't put it down.
What’s the best air to breathe if you want to be rich? Millionaire.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisssssstory.
What time would it be if Godzilla came to school? Time to run!
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.
"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."
What two fights can Africa never win?
A food fight and a water fight.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My name is Ya.
Ya who?
Yahooooo!!!
What do you call a deep diver? A DeepWoken player.
I'm a magician. Watch my closing act at the end of the rope.
I told my sister to make a noise and hear what she said... "Cuckoo coo chew." #Owl🦉
I asked my dad to come to my Father’s Day breakfast.
The orphanage worker just said, “Don’t be silly!”
I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."
Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.
What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?
Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.