Short jokes
"Proud boys" more like snitch boys!
How do you f**k a duck?
Usually duck a f**k.
Welcome to Joe's pizza, you make 'em, we bake 'em.
If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?
It's so cold, I mist bring my jacket.
Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.
What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"
Make America Great Britain again!
Why can’t monkeys play in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.
What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.
What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.
Stephen Hawking prefers rolls to slices of bread.
How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?
– Sí...
See deez nuts!
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.
What is an orphan's least liked meal? Family dinner.
What does a student always get on an alphabet test?
A!
Yoav
Your head is so small, even a fly could eat it.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The KGB.
The KGB wh-?
*slaps* I will ask the questions here.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!