Short jokes
All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.
What is an orphan's hated movie line?
E.T. phone home.
What do you call a black prostitute with braces?
A Black & Decker pecker wrecker.
Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?
To make room in the freezer for his special meat.
Why does Stephen Hawking need some screens?
He needs to win those Fortnite tournaments and get to Champions League.
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
You're so ugly not even your mom thinks you're beautiful.
Why are orphans bad at dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
Why can’t orphans go on school trips?
Parent's signature: _________
What did Osama say after knocking over the Twin Towers?
He he he haw.
Your forehead is so big it blocked my phone service!
Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.
Yo mama so fat, it took your dad eight years to come back with the milk.
How do you make Olaf hard? You tickle his snowballs.
Princess Peach is a BUM!
A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.
Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...
Trump: What's UpNigga?
Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!
I love to decorate my room because it's a great way to express your heart, though I just remembered, my room is pretty black and empty...
Why are orphans so sad?
Because every time they swallow, they think... "You should have Mom."
Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.