Short jokes
How does a cow become invisible? -- Through camooflage.
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly? ... Kick his sister in the jaw.
What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence?
Udder destruction.
Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
Did you hear about the homosexual letter? It only came in male boxes.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?
When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.
I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.
How do you know when Helen Keller is home?
Answer: When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?
JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.
Your breath is so bad that when Santa came to your house for your present, he brought toothpaste.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?
“Hang in there!”