Short jokes
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.
I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.
How do you know when Helen Keller is home?
Answer: When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!
What's the difference between life and death? Life hurts.
Technoblade be doing skyblock in heaven now.
What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?
โHang in there!โ
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, thatโs why I laugh so much.
Whatโs the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I donโt have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
What's the best haircut?
Chemotherapy.
I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive," to the corona patients.
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
When a mute girl gives a hand job, is it oral?
No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either.
It's just true.
Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave? Buy 1 get 1 free. ๐๐๐๐
Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.
Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."
Never buy an epileptic kid light-up Sketchers.