Short jokes
Q. What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. One has a functioning neck.
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.
I saw it through my telescope last night.
Why was the ant so confused?
All of its uncles were ants.
Trees are so social. They're always branching out.
How does a cow become invisible? -- Through camooflage.
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly? ... Kick his sister in the jaw.
What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence?
Udder destruction.
Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
Did you hear about the homosexual letter? It only came in male boxes.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Dark, rich, and imported.
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
What's the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you stick the cucumber.
My favorite sex position is ‘WOW.’ It's where I flip your mom upside down.