Short jokes
The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.
I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.
Gwen, hi, this is well, I am not saying, are you a girl? I thought you were a girl, but I could be wrong.
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Mike Pence's hair is made of glue.
Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."
Me: Mrs., can I read my book?
Teacher: Sure.
Me: *watching my Chromebook*
One dog said to the other dog, "Man, it is hard sleeping on the floor."
The other said, "Really? I like my bed."
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.
"I need help, George Sink," said Jimmy.
"What is it?" said George Sink.
"Can you wash my dishes?" said Jimmy.
Have you ever walked past Stephen Hawking's house?
No, well neither has he.
You're so small you went hand gliding on a Dorito!
What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.
What is an orphan versus orphan competition?
Who will get adopted first?
I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. 🙂🙂
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the Statue of Liberty? The statue stands for something.
The USA has school shootings. We Canadians have bus beheadings.
Did anyone around here lose a roll of twenty-dollar bills wrapped with a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band.
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is dying alone.