Short jokes
One Erection would be a very nice name for a gay band.
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.
Your mom is so ugly that when she went to rob a bank, they had to turn the cameras off.
Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self-harms!
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.
I saw it through my telescope last night.
Due to the rising cost of ammunition, there will be no warning shots.
Q. What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. One has a functioning neck.
Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.
Student: OOFT.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
Trees are so social. They're always branching out.
It's not pedophilia, it's early access.
Why was the ant so confused?
All of its uncles were ants.
How does a cow become invisible? -- Through camooflage.
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
You get a milkshake!
How do you circumcise a hillbilly? ... Kick his sister in the jaw.
What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence?
Udder destruction.
Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.