Short jokes
What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?
If you throw them, they both will never come back.
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they're ugly and smell bad.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
Stinky Steve.
Why are the best used guns from France?
Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.
Pass around the roses, their casket full of hoses, crash it, watch it, the water! OH SHIT IT'S GONNA BLOW!
I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
Pickup line: Are you the internet? 'Cause I feel a connection.
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
Donibobes is an owl. (hehe look up donibobes YT!)
Becky: Rob, you're so stupid! Anything that you say is stupid!
Rob: .....BECKY :3
Iron Man: Where are you from?
Thor: Asgard.
Iron Man: Do you mean ass guard?
Who's the smallest wife??
Micro-wife.
I like my women like my coffee—ground up and frozen.
Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.
Lettuce pray.
What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
McBongald's.
Why do they call matches, matches?
They all look the same.
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.