Short jokes
Why did Bob go to the store? To bob for apples.
Why did Suzy fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Suzy.
What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?
Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.
Bird Box.
Why doesn't Batman need Robin as a wingman?
Because he has no problem robbin' your girl.
Hi, I did not get your text. I texted you when I texted you. You are not [responding].
What is the definition of Endless Love?
Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis!
So my son came up to me and said, "Hey, Dad, I’m hungry." So I replied "Hi, Hungry, I’m Dad."
And then I feed him my dick.
That moment when the disabled kid has to take the Pacer test.
Why is the chicken that crossed the road a cannibal? Because he went to KFC.
"Bitch, I’m a cow, bitchhhhh."
What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.
A redhead, a dark-haired woman, and a blonde walk into a bar and agree to fly to the sun!
The blonde states, "I agree, let's leave at night!"
Tumblr people: "There are an infinite amount of genders."
The cannibal kid: "Bitch, please. There's just one gender: Food."
What's got 4 legs and is stronger than Superman?
Christopher Reeve's horse.
How did the orphan survive birth?
U
Q. What do you call a CEO that's been shot in the head?
A. An ambulance.
What happened to the woman who dated a rapist?
She was date raped.
This is a joke. Laugh now or else.
What's the difference between a white woman and a tornado siren?
The tornado siren doesn't get raped.