Short jokes
"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?
To make room in the freezer for his special meat.
What is Johnny Depp's new legal name?
Johnny in debt.
Your soul is black. I have 4 guns, little kid. Get in the van before I shoot you!
My Dad: Son, history always repeats itself.
Me: So you're gonna leave me again?
Got kidnapped in Iran. Luckily, I ran.
You know I would tell you a 9/11 joke, but it just doesn’t hit the spot.
A boy went to a genie and said, "I want to be like Batman."
He went home, his parents weren't there.
I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.
Let me know if you can't cum.
What do you call a black prostitute with braces?
A Black & Decker pecker wrecker.
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
I said something in your ear, and then it echoed because of the size of your forehead because your brain [is] small.
I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.
You're so tall that you are a measuring tape.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and an orange?
The orange tastes good.
Why were the Twin Towers workers disappointed? Because they ordered a ham and cheese, but all they got was a plane.
You look like Megamind, drug dealer.
Two sentence horror stories go.
How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!
Orphans are so unwanted that when One Direction saw one, it went the other direction.