Short jokes
What do you call a tamal that's in a bed?
Tamaleto.
"You must be why they invented the word ugly."
Person one: What did the DJ name his son?
Person two: IDK, what?
Person one: Erik (while making a DJ motion).
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
Your mom is so fat that she mains Heavy from the game Team Fortress 2!
What did the nose say to the finger?
"Stop picking me!"
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
ElectroBOOM is a SHOCKING YouTuber! (I can't believe he is still alive!)
When a guy falls, it hurts them there. When a woman falls, it hurts more.
What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?
A leaf.
Why can't Tottenham open a restaurant? Because they have no silverware.
What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?
Nothing, they both stain.
What was the most famous skeleton detective in the world? Sherlock Bones!
Hudididada hada dudo
Hudididada hada du energy
Hudididada hada dudo
Hudididada hada ah ah ah ah ah BOP
....energy
I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.
My ill sis said, "Why did the bear say no to ice cream?" and I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cuz it's stuffed!"
Why can orphans only use Samsung?
Because they don't have a home button.
What’s a gay person’s favorite book?
The dictionary.
Hey, look, it's Uranus coming from the sky!
What animal can't you trust with your homework?
A: A cheetah!