Short jokes

Short jokes

Asylum

Imagine there’s a funny joke here. Imagine it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you’re schizophrenic.

End

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Look at me again,

It will be the end of you.

Baby

How many babies does it take to make dinner?

Three to four; there's not a lot of meat on them.

  • 3
  • Girl

    What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?

    We dunno, she ain't opened it yet.

  • 0
  • Pedophile

    What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.

  • 0
  • Basement

    What is black and blue and really hates sex?

    The six-year-old in my basement.

  • 0
  • Music

    My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.

    Car pet

    I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.

    I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.

    Orphan

    Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"

    Guy: That's probably because you're single.

    Orphan

    If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?

    Brunette

    So a blond and a brunette jumped out of a plane. Who hit the ground first?

    The blond because she had to ask for directions.