Short jokes
What two things can you never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!
Wow, these cow jokes are moo-amazing!
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"
If the captain of the Titanic was dumb, he would eat the iceberg.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.
Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
I really wasn't planning on going for a run today, but damn, those cops came out of nowhere!
Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!
What do you call a funny chicken?
A comedi-hen!
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?
They have no one to call "Dad."
Look at my name and you'll see the joke (read it out loud).
Yo forehead so large, it has its own gravitational pull.
Every woman will die in five seconds.
Mother: Dies.
Sister: Dies.
Girlfriend: Lives.
You: 🤬
What do you call a fat duck?
Donald Duck.
Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common? A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house.
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
Knock knock. Who's there? Dees. Dees who? Dees nuts!
(Or dees nuts in yo mouth!)
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.