Short jokes
*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*
Your mum is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.
Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.
What takes 10 seconds to go SLPAT! on the ground?
9/11 victim!
Guess what.
What?
Your mum saw your 1 inch.
By the way, why are there no knock knock jokes about America?
Because freedom rings, but they never answer that door.
Enjoy!
I like dildos.
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.
What did the Americans call the Battle of Midway after Pearl Harbor?
The Jap trap.
All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.
What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?
The Chinese kid has a home.
Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."
Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."
Your hairline is so bad man, I gave your doctor a breathalyzer.
The only thing brighter than my cuteness is the fire on the Twin Towers.
What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!
You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.
You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.