Short jokes
Teddy
How many gears does a French tank have?
One forward and six reverse.
Man: Knock, knock...
Boy: Who's there?
Man: Bear...
Boy: Bear who?
Man: Bear bottom.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
If I had a dollar for every brain cell LEO has, I’d have one dollar.
Kris looks like a Neanderthal. The only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
A woman.
What’s the difference between masturbation and brain damage?
After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
What’s something you can say about your clothes but not your partner?
It’s just a rental.
I love your hair today.
How did you get it to come out your nose like that?
What are wheelchair users experts at?
Being lazy.
What does Kurt have in common with painters?
They paint walls.
What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"
R.I.P. on a tombstone normally means "Rest In Peace"; however, in Madeleine McCann's case, it means "Raped In Portugal".
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
Q: How do you know you're at a gay barbecue? A: All the hot dogs taste like shit.
What type of bow can't be tied?
Rainbow.
Women’s rights.
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.