Short jokes
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
How many letters are in the English Alphabet?
Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.
What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?
"That's nacho cheese!"
My grandpa lost his toe today. 😔
Nvm, we found it. It's in his TOEtruck.
What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"
I'm Alya. I'm a dumb whore who ruins people's fun on this sight made for jokes with categories for orphan jokes, but I like ruining people's fun.
When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
I thought happiness started with an “H.” Why does my happiness start with “U”?
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
The Blonde got a Ph.D.?
Yeah, like that would ever happen.
For all the online haters on me, comment here, be honest.
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot!
You don't have a forehead, you have a fivehead.
You don't have dreams, you have movies.
You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.
Why couldn't the GREAT WHITE beat the HAMMERHEAD?
because the GREAT WHITE kept getting BONKED on the HEAD by the HAMMERHEAD!
Just chatting, Tim! 🌷🌷🌷🌷