Short jokes
I asked my dog this morning how her week's been going--she said "ruff." I feel her, you know? I feel her.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
I can't believe the suicide hotline put my cousin on hold. They left him hanging.
Why did Technoblade die?
He couldn't respawn in real life!
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!
I bet you're naked under all those clothes. Slut.
Why is Technoblade allowed to make jokes about orphans?
'Cause he's dead like their parents!
Odo walks down the alley and turns into a bar.
Why do orphans love McDonald's?
Because the initials are like "mother" and "father."
The twin towers were just tryna take after the leaning tower of Pisa, but they lost their balance and fucked it up.
What did Hitler say to Stan after he died?
I did nazi that coming!
Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing. I always seem to get shot.
If I ever ran for public office, I'd make Rajan a call center employee again.
If an orange is called an orange, why isn’t a lemon called a yellow?
So I guess Ice Cube was right, Eazy's dick smelling like MC Ren's shit, and Eazy died of AIDS.
What is cheetah's favorite taste to run fast?
Cheetah outta here!
What is the country that is always in a rush? Russia.
What do people with cancer always want to watch?
"Finding Chemo."
What do you call an imposter octopus?
Octosus.
I will never forget my little brother's last words, RIP.
His last words: "Paint doesn't taste good."