Short jokes
Yo momma so fat that she was used as a tank in Putin's war.
What Lord of the Rings book is banned from the United States?
The Two Towers.
Your hairline is so back when the police saw it, they had to arrest you.
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics.
A Japanese person comes to America and sees guns everywhere. One American says, "Welcome to America!"
Bully says, "You are DISGUSTING!!!!!!"
The girl says, "Just like your face."
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
If you can’t touch your brain or see your brain, you don’t have a brain?
Are you the Twin Towers? Because you made my heart explode.
Why do Fortnite players have such good teeth?
Because they like to floss.
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
Your face looks like my butt, but it looks like you.
Why did the child cross the road?
Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.
What do you call Joey in a room? Transgender.
What is white, then red, and is very fast?
My chainsaw blade.
What do you call a guy named Kaiden?
I don't know, lol.
Why are orphans so naughty at school? It's not like the teacher is gonna call their parents.
My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.
Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.
Your chin is where I went on ski vacation.