Your mummy so skinny, she can't eat!
Short Jokes
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.
Your hairline is so [bad] Will Smith can't slap it back in place.
Where does a banana learn to split?
At sundae school!
I had to go to my friend's house.
I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.
I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.
Yo mama so fat that she had to wear a yellow jacket and everyone shouted, "Taxi!"
Why do orphans hate playing sports in school?
Because they never get picked.
Why do risky people have cats?
So they have 10 lives with them.
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's...
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's.
Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!
This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."
Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?
His parents never brought back the milk.
Why do orphans love school so much?
They have no HOMEWORK.
What do you do if a woman is choking? Pull out a few inches.
Why do orphans read BL or GL?
Cause they get to see what it’s like with a mummy or daddy.
Why was Stephen Hawking always like this 🫠?
Because he didn’t have emojis on his computer.
