Why was Stephen Hawking so good at FIFA? He had 99 dribble.
Short Jokes
What’s a nun's weapon of choice?
Nun-chucks.
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
Write a different joke of onions and a dead baby.
What is the name of a show for kids?
Barney.
Why are eagles 🦅 bald?
Because they don’t wear wigs.
If bedbugs live in beds, where do cockroaches live?
Octopus, more like octopussy.
If you're feeling mad, punch an autistic kid. What's he gonna do, blabber to the teacher?
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.
Nickelback.
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
What's the difference between a zit and a Catholic priest?
A zit will wait 'til 12 before it cums on your face.
What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!
Why are Chinese so good at jaywalking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.
What did the terrorist say to the 72 virgins?
"Just so you know, 5 inches is REALLY big!"
Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?
Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
What is the difference between an American and a computer?
An American doesn’t have trouble shooting.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.
