Short jokes

Short jokes

Book

I wrote a book called "Endless Love."

It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.

Victim

Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?

Because they've already been roasted!

Notice

Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.

Show

The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,

honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.

Girl

Arms

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.

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  • Time

    Furry

    I diddled for a total of 67 times. I am the ultra Gooner. My cum is everywhere. I am the goon master.

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  • Marriage

    Divorce

    My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

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  • Wordplay

    Insult

    If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!

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  • Shit

    Insult

    Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that always comes out of your mouth?

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  • Seafood

    Girlfriend

    When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.

    Did you get seafood without me?

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  • Motherboard

    Orphan

    What is missing on an orphanage computer? The motherboard.

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  • Orphan

    Orphan

    Why don't orphans like getting lost?

    Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"

    Orphan

    Orphan

    Why do orphans try to be arrested? So that they'll be wanted.

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  • Airplane

    Twin Towers

    How do terrorists feed their children?

    "Here comes the airplane!"

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  • Dilemma

    Would you rather have ten babies in one trash can or one baby in ten trash cans?

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  • Hairline

    Hairline

    You will find Taylor Swift on the streets before you find your hairline.

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  • Orphan

    Orphan

    What’s an orphan’s favorite drink?

    Foster’s.

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