Short jokes
What's a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple.
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
Why do Indians gamble so much? They are hoping to one day reclaim their land.
What did one condom say to the other condom as they were passing a gay bar? "Let's go get shit faced!"
You wanna know why the Titanic was split in half? The iceberg hit it from the front and back.
What do you say to a magician with autism?
Are you "Autism-ic?"
Yo mama so fat, NASA used her stomach to jump to Uranus in seconds.
What’s the difference between Jimmy and a normal kid? Jimmy is fat.
Can we have a party in space?
First, we need to planet ;)
Get it? "Plan it" = planet.
What did the girl get for Christmas?
Cancer.
What's thick, 12 inches, and in your mum's throat?
My penis.
I lost my virginity once and found it in a store being sold off.
I told my dad that I’m gay. He replied, “No, you're retarded.” Then he went off to kiss a baby.
How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?
Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!
What's the difference between an ISIS militant base and a Pakistani children's school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
Why does my dad hate me? Really, please tell me, I'm tired of the constant abuse and pain.
What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"
Bean.
What is China's favorite restaurant?
The Pet Store.
An assassin is about to shoot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience."