Short jokes
America: I'm going to build a wall.
Nazi: Been there.
Soviet Union: Done that.
One cow asks another cow, "Are you afraid of mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why should I be? I'm a helicopter."
Americans are so fat that they named an atom bomb "Fat Man" to describe themselves.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Fuck 'em.
I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It's been a while since the last presidential assassination...
If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.
Once a cheetah, always a cheetah.
What's the difference between a brand new Oldsmobile and a brand new Raping?
...Rape.
Astrophysics fact: If you count every star on a Saturday night, you're autistic.
Why did the blind woman get raped?
Because she didn't know she was wearing see-through clothes.
Rape victim: I want to die.
Man: Hang in there.
Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.
What's a suicidal person's favorite drink?
The depressay expressay.
Just kidding, bleach!
What did the teacher say when he raped his naughty student?
"Face the wall!"
Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?
Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."
"Everyone knows I love kids better than people."
- Joe Biden. (A.K.A. Pedo Peter.)
Your forehead is like my dad.
Non-existent.
What sank the Titanic?
GODZILLA!
Dude, has anyone made a joke about small foreheads? Oh wait... they would be nonexistent.
What's the same with a controller and a woman?
They both work if you hit them.
My name is what orphans can never have.