Short jokes
You're so fat that you cause your heart to have panic attacks.
A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.
She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.
Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...
Well nvm, they shot him dead.
SCP-1540 transforms in-front of a d-class:
D-class: Whoa dude, you’re a wolf!
SCP-1540: A am a were.
When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."
Yeah, so why can't a blind woman drive?
Exactly, cuz she's a woman.
What do you call two Hispanics with Parkinson's disease?
Maracas.
What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.
Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?
A: It's already done for you.
The north tower wanted some salted fries at Burger King.
They were plane as usual.
What happens to teeth when they go in water?
Bro, I dunno, they get wet?
Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.
"Why couldn’t the DJ keep any of the fish he caught?
He kept dropping the bass."
Madeline McCann must have been homeless or something, she was sure eager for the free candy.
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?
My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.
A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.
When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!
Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.
What's the difference between sex and gender?
You can't have gender with your sister.