Short jokes
We’ll be back.
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
Ryan.
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.
Turns out it was the fridge.
"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."
"That's your lookout."
The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.
I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.
Why do women have two sets of lips?
I kiss both.
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
For a golfer, Tiger Woods isn't very good of a driver.
What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀
What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?
Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.
What did the rapper say to his broken refrigerator?
"Yo, chill!"
Why did the rapper bring a basketball to the concert?
To drop some SLAM DUNKS on the mic!
What's a rapper's favorite DESSERT?
Rhyme-berry pie.
Damn boy, you must be Nick Cannon because you don’t know when or how to stop.
Why did the rapper carry an UMBRELLA?
Because he heard there was a 50% chance of "Lil Wayne."
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
Why did the rapper go to the auto shop?
To get his RHYMES in TUNE.
We shouldn't call gay guys "fucking cunts" because they aren't fucking cunts, they're fucking assholes.