Short jokes
What does a dog do in a dresser?
It pants!
Who is the least young Dave?
Dave-on.
Why did Daveon get fired from his job at the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate.
Why did Daveon decide to become a magician? Because he wanted to make his problems "Daveon" disappear.
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.
My proctologist used to be a photographer. He took x-rays and told me to bend over and say "cheese!"
Don’t be racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.
I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."
"Mhm... So you're gay?" -Darling
Is someone who is tardy again actually "retardy"?
How did Anakin get away with cheating?
By choking on his wife!
Roses are red, violets are blue; blood's thicker than water, so yeah, I got you.
Why were the rappers late for their flight?
They forgot to pack.
Hi, I am Emma. I'm going to Stan.
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
Does a midget count as an orphan?
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
What war did the black community win?
The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.