Short jokes
What do you call Mordecai dressing up as a basketball player?
Blue Jay Simpson!
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?
Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"
BAJAHAHAHHAA
An emo girl dyed her hair red.
Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.
Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!
My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
What's an astronaut's favorite game? Space-ball!
The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
Your hairline so far back, it's a wide receiver for the Minnesota Vikings.
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*
The only doctor you have is Doctor Pepper.
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home.
Orphan: Oh, cool, something we have in common.
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
We gave Erik ten Hag 7-Up after Liverpool thrashed Man Utd 7-0. He said, "F**k you all!"
I identify as the Titanic, because I'm a wreck.
Anybody who doesn't like Pepsi is a Coke-sucker!
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.