Short jokes
What do you call a girl with no legs?
Unshakeable.
I want your weight, not your phone number.
My classmate, Hailey Legacy.
Tyler is ugly.
If you are called Tyler, change your name.
The Emo kid wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?
Me: Word.
Orphan: I'm hungry.
Dad: Let's go to KFC.
Orphan 2: Boy, you don't got a dad!
What do lesbians love to use in art class?
Scissors.
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
Call me an edgelord because I'm gonna impale myself on the edge of a spear.
Red, black, blue. The colors of life.
What comes in and comes out, but you should never miss it?
Any ideas?
SHIT!!!!
I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.
You're so fat that you cause your heart to have panic attacks.
I'd like to have kids one day.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.
SCP-1540 transforms in-front of a d-class:
D-class: Whoa dude, you’re a wolf!
SCP-1540: A am a were.
When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."
Yeah, so why can't a blind woman drive?
Exactly, cuz she's a woman.