Short jokes
Why do orphans love a room of mirrors?\n\nBecause they're surrounded by loved ones!
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
Your job still sucks!
Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.
When should you discourage your husband from exercising and dieting? When he wants to fit in your clothes!
Did you know there's a place in Germany called Hanover?
Must be lots of drunks there.
What do you call a disabled person that has no legs and likes being alone?
Leaving, walking.
Beethoven to Chris Doemges: "What instrument do you play outside in the Arctic at -12 degrees Celsius?"
Doemges: "Probably the shiver..."
I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.
It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.
Q. Why aren't midget jokes funny?
A. They always seem to punch down.
What has two wings and an arrow?
A Chinese telephone. "Wing Wing Arrow!"
Kurt Cobain said he wished he was gay.
That's why he married Courtney Love.
Why are priests so bad at racing? They are always in the 'little behind'.
Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Most of these jokes are plane, but they still hit.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.
Did you get seafood without me?
Why do orphans try to be arrested? So that they'll be wanted.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
Why was Balls afraid of Magic?
Because Magic eight Balls.