Short jokes
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
It's past April Fool's Day, and we still have a joke as president.
Where's your mom?
In the bin.
What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?
We have a case of Witzelsucht.
Hey Gwen! What is a bean's specialty? Being a jerk!
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
My sister is so short she can't walk.
Ur adopted.
My hopes and dreams.
How do you surprise a blind guy?
Say, "Surprise!"
Give me baby girl names for a pregnant YouTuber.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost? The nearest Shell station.
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.