Short jokes
I lick poo for a living... You?
What happened to the leper when he accidentally walked into the screen door?
He strained himself.
My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
Don't ever say your life is a joke because jokes are actually funny.
I can't come in, because I'm too high.
Get shanked with a lamb shank with a stinky pampa in the tolpan.
I don't trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive.
Wanna hear a joke?
Yeah.
...
What's the joke?
I said it already!
Looks like McSkillet McKilledIt.
Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!
Engineer: I know engineering, and my gut instinct tells me to fix it!
Biologist: I know biology, and your gut instinct is full of shit.
Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet?
They only have 4.
What do you call a chair?
I don't know. What?
Oh, hi, Chairity!
What did the first skeleton say to the second skeleton?
I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.
You are quite [something].
I love stairs. They always bring me up.
Teacher: What’s 2+2?
Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh
Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.