Short jokes
Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.
If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!
You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.
My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
Why were the apple and orange all alone? Because the banana "split."
What did one bee say to the other bee?
"I love you, honey!"
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
I see 6 letters in "the past."
I have 2020 vision.
I see 7 letters in "the future," I have 2021 vision.
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
What’s a foot on one end, a foot on the other end, and a foot in the middle?
A meter stick.
Hi Blake.
What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?
You only see one asshole in 69.
How do you trap a shape? You use a trapezoid.
What did the frog order?
A diet Croak!
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.
In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?
In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.
Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking.
Abandon ship!