Short jokes

How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!

I started an emo salsa band. We're called Hispanic at the Disco.

Up into the sky so very far, here comes Dr. Seuss! "ALLAHU AKBAR", at the ripe old age of 97, he committed 9/11.

Why was I stress eating on the train track?

To wait to get hit.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

It's been raining for days. My wife is totally depressed. She keeps looking through the window. If this keeps up, I'll have to let her in.

I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.

I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.

I keep getting these letters from this little girl every year on Father's Day. I told the orphanage to stop letting her send these.

My friend called me a dick earlier. I said, "You are what you eat." He then proceeded to run away from me.

The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are.

These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike.

If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.

What is the best part about Alabama prostitutes?

Family comes first.

What do you call a depressed emo? Dead.

What has three balls and flies through space?

E.T. the extra testicle.

Donald Trump is proudly anti-woke. He has been falling asleep in his court cases every morning!

Your move, Ron DeSantis.

So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"

What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do on guitar?

Fingering A minor.

Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.