Short jokes
Bully: "Nobody loves you."
Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."
What does a glory hole and a confessional booth have in common?
A blowjob is anonymous.
Once you go Asian, you can solve the equation.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with a bull? They both charge.
People are pushing for a new black Lady Liberty coin. I can't wait to use black people as currency again.
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait... nevermind...
If I were a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party, and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!
What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?
When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)
A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.
My name, my address, and my phone number.
My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.
it was just a prank bro.
How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?
You tell them it's a leap of faith.
Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.
What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
To find Pluto.
Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.
Yo, forehead is so big...the photo on yo driver's license says "to be continued on the back."
What has three balls and flies through space?
E.T. the extra testicle.
How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!