Short jokes
How did Teddy Roosevelt swing all the ladies?
He spoke softly and carried a big stick.
Go touch some grass, bro.
Best political joke... Joe Biden.
A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"
You are so ugly, when the Joker saw you, he stopped laughing.
Why is Mercury so hot? I know, because the sun is killing Mercury.
Your forehead is big. God said dude that's bigger than me and I'm infinitely big!
I tried to make a necrophilia joke, but it was dead in the water.
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
A chair came to life and said, "I'm alive!"
I said, "Yes, I know I am."
What do you call an ant with so much power?
A ter-mite.
Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?
Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!
Your mama is so stupid, when her phone died, she bared it, lol.
How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?
QUEUE THE MUSIC
BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT
You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.
We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than grandpa.
1273 please kill me, everyone hates me.
What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma balls.
Last night I slipped on a banana.
My friend said it was a-peeling!