Short jokes
I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...
A little boy decided to burn a house down. The father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "That's arson."
What do you call a depressed emo? Dead.
Your forehead is a 20-mile taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.
What has three balls and flies through space?
E.T. the extra testicle.
Donald Trump is proudly anti-woke. He has been falling asleep in his court cases every morning!
Your move, Ron DeSantis.
So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do on guitar?
Fingering A minor.
What's bigger than the Milky Way?
Michael Jackson's nose.
Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.
What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?
Roamin’ Numerals.
How 9/11 Happened!:
Hey Bush, Truth or dare?
Why did the picture go to jail?
Cause it was framed!
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
To find Pluto.
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."