Short jokes

A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.

Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.

What's bigger than the Milky Way?

Michael Jackson's nose.

Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.

What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?

Roamin’ Numerals.

How 9/11 Happened!:

Hey Bush, Truth or dare?

Your forehead is a 20-mile taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.

What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.

What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do on guitar?

Fingering A minor.

You shouldn’t bully fat people.

They already have enough on their plate.

You call it a tragedy. I call it a 25 killstreak.

Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

To find Pluto.

How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.

Why did the picture go to jail?

Cause it was framed!

When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."

What has three balls and flies through space?

E.T. the extra testicle.

What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing, his mouth was full.

I don’t like making jokes about 9/11. My grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew.

How do emos propose?

"Would you like to join my family tree?"

If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!

My grief counselor died today. He did such a great job. I don't even care.