Short jokes
Why do gay guys grow mustaches?
The British Society of Psychics' annual convention had to be cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances!
Where was Stephen Hawking born?
Under a coconut tree.
"You cannot win a war without a war."
-Sun Tzu, *The Art Of War*
Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”
Son: “To the playground?”
Mom: “No, to the morgue.”
What is the best way to run away from home?
Join the military.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today.
Now they call him Hot Wheels.
Why do the Japanese hate Christmas?
Because the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population.
Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.
Why did the orange lose the race?
Because it ran out of juice!
Why can't gay men be handymen?
Because they'll be caulk fighting on the job.
What would you call a gay man's couch? A Homo Sectional.
I got my son a trampoline for his birthday.
The ungrateful boy sat in his wheelchair the whole time.
Why are Mexicans good at Uno?
They always steal the green card.
What did the orphan say to the blind kid?\n\n"Hey, we both can't see our parents!"
What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.
What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!
How did Caillou quit his party?
He had to cancel it.
Sumona.
I have a heart, alright. I just happen to see a mere hollow shell of one coming from you.
You mehheheeheheeeehehehe.