Short jokes
So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do on guitar?
Fingering A minor.
What's bigger than the Milky Way?
Michael Jackson's nose.
What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?
Roamin’ Numerals.
Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.
How 9/11 Happened!:
Hey Bush, Truth or dare?
Your forehead is a 20-mile taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.
What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing, his mouth was full.
Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
To find Pluto.
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
Why did the picture go to jail?
Cause it was framed!
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."
Johnny: Mommy, Mommy! What is incest?
Mom: Shut up and keep licking.
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait... nevermind...
How do emos propose?
"Would you like to join my family tree?"
If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!
it was just a prank bro.