Short jokes
Why did the cat cross the road?
To die.
Why did Queen Elizabeth II die? She forgot to heal after all those storms.
9/11... 911... COINCIDENCE I THINK NOT!
Why did the judge dismiss court when the orphan walked in?
Even a gay prison wouldn't want him.
"Talking Ben killed me. JK, it was talking me."
I put a guy in a fridge. He said, "I had a nightmare!"
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
Don’t kill the Earth, it’s the only one with beer.
Last night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade... turns out I peed the bed.
Stan JoJo Siwa.
"Parademics are so bad, yo mama can't stop!"
What did one lung say to another lung?
"We belung together!"
Why does Sally have 100 sisters? She lives in an orphanage.
What is Gaten Matarazzo's favorite song?
"Dust in the Wind."
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
What's the difference between me and Spongebob?
Spongebob can actually get ripped.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your presence, my love, Every moment feels new.
What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?
When you have a gun in your hand.
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"