Short jokes
Hey, yesterday I played with my sister. When I woke up, she was gone.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
Even Captain Cook couldn't discover your forehead.
I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.
Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?
It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.
Are you the Twin Towers? Cause I'd love to take you out. 🤭
WwwassfcfqaaszzxQffffgg.
Are the three little pigs orphans because their mom kicked them out of the house?
What did the white baby say to his Chinese parents?
"Two wongs don’t make a white."
I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.
(Male fantasy)
Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
My sister said that I am a baby, so I said, "Waa, waa."
Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.
Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."
What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?
Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.
That bloke Dean's a cunt!
Why don't terrorists like Walmart?
They prefer a Target.
What do you call a rapper who loves to cook?
A mixtape chef.
What did the dog say to the other dog?
Putin's words paint a picture of his world as vast, but in reality, it is shrinking.
I had a calf for a while. The milk was bad until we bought a heifer.