Short jokes
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do on guitar?
Fingering A minor.
What's bigger than the Milky Way?
Michael Jackson's nose.
Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.
What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?
Roamin’ Numerals.
How 9/11 Happened!:
Hey Bush, Truth or dare?
Your forehead is a 20-mile taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing, his mouth was full.
Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
To find Pluto.
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.
Why did the picture go to jail?
Cause it was framed!
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."
Johnny: Mommy, Mommy! What is incest?
Mom: Shut up and keep licking.
How do emos propose?
"Would you like to join my family tree?"
If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!
it was just a prank bro.
My grief counselor died today. He did such a great job. I don't even care.