Short jokes
What's a gun's favorite type of literature?
Magazine.
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.
Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.
Why are Nepalese bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their king!
I got in a cage fight.
The hamster didn't know what hit him!
Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."
By a tweaker with AIDS.
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
Wanna come hang out with me?
What do orphans not see on a controller?
The home button.
Name what guns are used for. {wrong answers only?}
What do Shrek and onions have in common?
*LAYERS*
The West is dying...just like the romance of an empire, especially the western part of the empire. Funny that, 'cause the East was going strong.
Facial detection? More like racial detection.
Another condom name is "Orphan's Home."
When an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.
What did the Queen Bee of Destiny's Child say?
"I'm so crazy in love..."
What was the last thing that went through PH's head?
Water and smoke.
Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"
Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."
My grandpa was the best soldier ever. He gunned down over 100 soldiers in his bunker during D-Day.
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"
Girlfriend: "No."
Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"