Short jokes
Wanna hear a construction joke?
Nah, I'm still working on it.
Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?
Why?
So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"
Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet?
They only have 4.
Roses are red, I like weed,
If you say yes then I'll do a "good deed."
How does Skeletor feel after He-Man beats him up?
Skelesore.
What is Bill Gates’ favorite equation?
1 + 1 =
I don’t like stairs. They are always up to something.
I have no puns because I don't play soccer.
TDS - Too Damn Slow!
TDS? More like STDs.
What comes next in the pattern: ottffs?
Idiot 1: Why are cows good in math?
Idiot 2: I don't know why.
Idiot 1: Because they have built-in cowculators!
Nobody:
Me: "Nobody:" "Me:"
If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.
Me: Hey Joe, updog.
Joe: What?
Me: Updog.
Joe: What's updog?
*Facepalms*
Me: Lol in the corner.
"Orla Doyle is fit."
I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!